San Diego Sucks: A Redundancy

What is it about the Chargers? In all my years of being a Chiefs fan, I've never harbored that same passionate hatred for San Diego that I have for both Oakland and Denver. This is the team that recycled two of my all-time favorite Chiefs (Marty Schottenheimer and Donnie Edwards), drafted my high school idol (Darren Sproles) and rocked those sweet powder blue unis that everyone was jealous of... but still, I've always felt indifferent about them for the most part.

Did I mention that they've won 7 of the last 9 games against our Chiefs? That means the only wins we have against San Diego in the last 4(ish) seasons were a goal line stop during the Monday Night Monsoon to open 2010 and Rivers' "Worst Day Ever" on Halloween in 2011. You know what? Come to think of it, I do hate the Chargers. San Diego sucks.

Philip Rivers is such a douche, right?

Thanks to last weekend's spell-binding turnaround in New Orleans, a beautiful late-September forecast and an early lead in the über-competitive [1] AFC West on the line, my renewed vigor for being a Chiefs fan is at full steam. Shoot, I'm an Eric Berry interception away from going six-to-midnight.

All kidding aside, I have a great feeling about Sunday. Call me crazy, but I think of San Diego's team as the antithesis of ours to this point in 2012. They snuck passed Oakland and trounced the lowly Titans before getting bitch-slapped at home by Atlanta 27-3. Ergo: they've outperformed themselves. San Diego sucks.

The Chiefs on the other hand... well, you know the story. Its safe to say they've been underwhelming to open to the season despite a host of excuses as to why.

Problem is: I'm what my man @dannyparkins calls "the worst kind of fan". I do, in fact, believe that every single decision I make on Sundays plays a role in the outcome of Chiefs games. With that in mind, I'm going to wear the same shirt as I did against the Saints and we're going to have eggs, sausage, hashbrowns and blueberry-cashew pancakes at the tailgate [2]. And plenty of breakfast cocktails, I'm sure. And beer. Oh... and don't forget the Jameson. Please. I beg you.

I digress.

When asked by a couple close friends to give a game-by-game win/loss record before the beginning of this season, I somehow had the Chiefs going 14-2. Shut up. Listen.

The gut-feeling I've taken into each game-time decision has been spot-on through three weeks. Im almost like some sort of savant... with or without the idiot prefix.

Maybe things will change before 11:15am CST this Sunday, but as of right now I see the Chiefs handling San Diego with relative ease. I like Jamaal for every bit of 150 total yards and a touchdown.

A little more racy: my main man, my beloved pet, my Dwayne Meow will catch a minimum of six balls and point to the name on the back of his jersey at least once. Tamba gets his first two sacks of the season. Derrick Johnson will return to form and record double-digit tackles. I might throw up.


Chiefs 30 - Chargers 20 - Ryan 73 (total drunken texts to his buddies not attending the game)


By the way, here's a decent little preview from some asshole [3] that writes for Chargers.com, filled with fun facts about the Chiefs/Chargers series and all that. Totally stole the 7 of 9 stat from him.

Also... watch this. You're welcome. San Diego sucks.



[1] By "über-competitive AFC West" I meant "everyone sucks equally so it always seems like a well-balanced division".

[2] Not even Norv Turner's neck can hang with our tailgate... if you wanna stop by, hit me up on twitter before Sunday morning.

[3] I honestly don't know Ricky Henne from a ham sandwich. He's probably a really nice man that works his tail-off doing what he loves. I only called him an asshole on principle. San Diego sucks.



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